Thursday, January 12, 2012

Brick Wall

Well hello - A here, finally.  Not only were the holidays not nice to my body (thankyouverymuch) they were not nice to me for the past 10 days catching up at work!  It has been 8 to 8 almost every day and there has been little to no room for anything else.  As a result, not much has changed for me  until Tuesday of this week - I finally hit my breaking point, my brick wall.  A girlfriend gave me a 2-week gym member pass for classes and I really took a look at myself in the mirror and thought WTH have I been thinking. 
This binge lasted a little longer than normal and did a little more damage than usual.  Between my mom getting sick and losing the baby I think I buried both so deep that my only outlet was to eat and not pay attention to anything - because if I did it meant that I also had to pay attention to that which was hurting the most.  And that sucks.  And so here I am.
My eating has been great so far, I have finally cut back on the calories and have been out walking.  I am back to being consious of everything, especially my skin tight jeans.  Awesomeness.
I head to Mexico in a few weeks for 5 days with my husband on a trip I won through work, 8 pounds to go.  I know its not realistic to think that I can lose that by the 8th of Feb but I can work really hard at it and at least not feel so down about myself.
Back on track, no other choice - I dont want to be fat anymore or ever again. Done.

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