Tuesday, January 31, 2012


So I had a piece of the chocolate caramel cake. But you know what Mr. Cake? Suck it, because it was probably the best darned piece of cake I've ever had. The caramel was HEAVEN. Totally worth it, I've got it out of my system now and I'm ready to move on...

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming


Betty Frickin Crocker

WHAT is up with people bringing the bakery goods in the office lately? I walk into the office this morning and there is a chocolate cake sitting there. With caramel filling... oooooozing out of it. I mean really? Is someone trying to torture me?

Anyhoo, had to rant there for a sec. Well this is a glorious Tuesday because my husband comes home today... whooooo hoooooo! I survived 7 long days alone with 2 kids. I swear I don't know how these military wives do this for months/years at a time. I bow down to them, they are much stronger than I am.

So, I'm a bit annoyed with my trainer. She canceled twice on me last week. Then when she tried to reschedule I explained to her that my husband was gone for 7 days, but if she could squeeze me in this Wednesday that would be great. She said she'd let me know... which she didn't. So when I contacted her yesterday asking what was up, she said she couldn't do Wednesday and asked about next week. Well my husband only has 4 days off and then he's back to work next week, so I can't do next week. I get that I don't have the easiest schedule in the world to work with, but these cancelations and not getting back to me on things is starting to bug me. Anyway, I guess it's free, so I should just shut my yap about it, but it's frustrating.

I am chopping my hair off tomorrow. My hair is pretty long (mid back length) and thick. So styling it takes a while. Blow-drying alone takes forever and a day. I'm just over it. Because I lack the time to sit there and "do" my hair for an hour, it usually ends up in a ponytail most days. So what's the point of long hair when you never wear it down? When I actually do my hair, I looooooooove it. It looks good, if I do say so myself. But unfortunately, I don't ever get to style it, so yeah... it needs to be shorter so it takes less time to style. I will take a before and after photo tonight, and post it on here. But I'm excited. I am bringing in this photo of Jennifer Aniston's newest style
Cute, right? Plus it should be much easier and take less time to style. So we'll see. My hair is pretty much the same color as hers too (maybe just a bit blonder). Now if only I had her figure to go with the  new hair... ha ha

I also have an appointment tomorrow with my OB/GYN to talk about getting Essure. I currently have the Mirena, which I love. But I was looking for more of a permanent birth control. Because let me tell you, I am DONE having kids. I love my 2, but I certainly don't want anymore. Anyway, Essure is like a coil that they put into your tubes that closes them up. Sort of like tube tying, without the surgery. Here's a link/photo on it, in case you are curious:


So I have a consultation on that tomorrow. Should be interesting.

I also have a super fun 'Jean Party' on Thursday night. They are designer jeans at half the price. My sister-in-law is having it at her house with lots of fun wine and food (which I will stay away from... the food, not the wine... come on, you know I'm a wino). So I'm curious to see what they have there. I'd love a pair of Seven jeans... though I almost hate to buy a pair at my current weight, which I don't plan on staying at for much longer... we'll see.

Ok, back to work. Send 'skinny' thoughts my way so I stay the hell away from that chocolate caramel cake RIGHT outside my cube...


Monday, January 30, 2012

Stupid Cupcakes...

So for the 2nd workday in a row for me, there are these homemade cupcakes sitting outside my cube. Glorious, large cupcakes with tons of fluffy frosting. Last Thursday they were chocolate and today they are raspberry lemon.

Now if I had any self control, I could take one or 2 bites and throw the rest away... but we all know that would never happen. If I had self control, then I'd look like Jennifer Anniston.

Now I'm just angry....


Bat Mitzvah Success

The much anticipated Bat Mitzvah weekend is over!  Our family attended services, dinners, parties and luncheons the entire weekend and I am SO PROUD to say I ate 99.9% healthy.  The .1% that I was bad was due to the amount of margaritas and wine I put down on Saturday night but listen, big progress for me.  Old me would have eaten my way through the weekend and felt terrible today - not the case!  E and B were total rockstars, though by Sunday E was ready to be done - I could just tell.  A highlight during the luncheon was B, he yelled during the montage the parents put together - THIS IS BORING MOMMY.  Good thing we were sitting right at the front table and the parents heard us.  He's 4 and hey, if he was bored I'm happy hes able to communicate his feelings.  Now we just need to work on tact...awesomeness.
Off to Zumba tonight and have been eating healthy all day.
Its the little things....

Peanut Butter Play-Doh... Dinner of Champs

Well I survived my husband-free weekend. It was very long, and I still ended up yelling at my 3-year-old about 5000 times (though to my defense he was being a jerk-off most of the time). But now I'm in the home stretch. Two more days, and he's home. Plus I work Monday's and Tuesday's, so it's easy. I'm probably the only one who loves Monday's. I practically skipped into work this morning, I was so happy to be here and out of the house.

I had a good time at my parents house though. The kids were ecstatic, which is all that matters. For some reason J was up ALL night on Friday night, so not a whole lot of sleep for me.  I thought that by bringing him into my bed, it would help him sleep...yeah I don't know why I do that because that NEVER works. I basically spent the remainder of the night getting kicked and hit in the face and head while he flailed around in his sleep.

We got like a frickin foot of snow while I was in Detroit. So when the kids went down for a nap yesterday afternoon, I had a lot to tackle, shoveling-wise. A foot of snow is A LOT to shovel all by your lonesome. Though my lovely neighbor did come over and help me a bit, which rocked. But I got my workout in for the day doing that. Plus I did 500 jump ropes in the garage afterwards. Trying to get that cardio in.

Easting-wise I did ok. Not spectacular, but better than normal when I go to my parents. They have a lot of my "trigger" foods in their house, so it's always a struggle when I go there. Also, I made my kids peanut butter Play-Doh yesterday.... yeah, that's some good sh*t. Totally easy to make and YUMMY! I had to cut myself off from munching on it. (For all you mom's, here's the recipe: 1 Cup of creamy peanut butter, 2 cups powdered sugar, 1/2 cup honey... mix and there you go!)

I found a new calorie tracking website that I'm LOVING. www.MyFitnessPal.com 
Check it out, its easy and a great way to track what you're eating. Especially now since I'm not only tracking my calories, but also carbs, which basically means I get to eat nothing... but it helps a lot.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is really starting to get good now. I'm glad I stuck with it. The beginning is really, really boring. And there were sooooo many times I almost bailed. But, I'm really starting to like it. But, since I listen to it on cd on my commute to work, sometimes my mind wanders and I find myself having to rewind it a lot. This is one of those books where you really have to pay attention.

Ok, more later, got to get to work


Thursday, January 26, 2012

"Great job!" is trainer-speak for "It's not polite for me to laugh at you."

Ok, I just came across this hilarious article in the Wall Street Journal titled:
 Things to Think about When Joining or Returning to the Gym:

1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.

2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to quarterback the New York Jets into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 pounds is hard.

3. Develop a gym routine. Try to go at least three times a week. Do a mix of strength training and cardiovascular conditioning. After the third week, stop carrying around that satchel of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading "The New Yorker" and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.

5. Bring your iPod. Don't borrow the disgusting gym headphones, or use the sad plastic radio attachment on the treadmill, which always sounds like it's playing Kenny Loggins from a sewer.

6. Don't fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.

7. Yes, every gym has an overenthusiastic spinning instructor who hasn't bought a record since "Walking on Sunshine."

8. There's also the Strange Guy Who is Always at the Gym. Just when you think he isn't here today...there he is, lurking by the barbells.

9. "Great job!" is trainer-speak for "It's not polite for me to laugh at you."

10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.

11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.

12. Nope, that's not a "recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate." That's a chocolate bar.

13. Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to death, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer.

14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that's super tough!

15. If you're motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a "wooden coat rack." It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing.

16. There's the yoga instructor everyone loves, and the yoga instructor everyone hates. Memorize who they are.

17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you're either in a really cool gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.

18. Be cautious about any class with the words "sunrise," "hell," or "Moby."

19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it's hard. If you're relaxed and enjoying yourself, you're at brunch.

20. If you need to bring your children, just let them loose in the silent meditation class. Nobody minds, and kids love candles.

21. Don't buy $150 sneakers, $100 yoga pants, and $4 water. Muscle shirts are for people with muscles, and rhythm guitarists.

22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you're basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.

23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.

24. If you're at the point where you've bought biking shoes for the spinning class, you may as well go ahead and buy an actual bike. It's way more fun and it doesn't make you listen to C+C Music Factory.

25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end

Here's the link: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203471004577140900388728374.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read

Man, I laughed out loud on a lot of these.  Btw, there is a plate of cupcakes that are the size of my head, that has been sitting outside my cube all day and I haven't had a single one. Chocolate cupcakes.. with sprinkles... and these little crunchy things on top. Yeah, I've stared at them a whole lot today... stupid cupcakes.


Carol Brady... Just with Wine

So my trainer canceled on me AGAIN yesterday morning. I was none too happy, to say the least. I mean, I'm not so angry at the cancelation part, the girl has a hurt back after all. But my session was for 8am and she called me at 6:45am to cancel. Which of course woke me, my husband and little S (she's in the room right next to us) up. And it was my day to sleep in (as much as you can "sleep in" with little kids). So we were all up nice and early.

Luckily I had gone to Zumba the night before (that's 2 workouts for me on Tuesday... yeah, I rock). And because my husband's flight wasn't until 5:30pm yesterday, I was able to get in a 3-mile run, outside.

It's been a weird winter here in Michigan this year. While we were pounded with snow the past 2 weeks, it's all gone again. Not that I'm complaining, I am loving the lack of snow and the fact that I've been able to run outside so much this winter. But it's strange none-the-less.

 I switched my run up yesterday. Instead of just running 3 miles, like I always do. Or trying those intervals. I decided to run a mile, speed-walk a half mile, run another mile, and speed-walk another half mile. From what I've been reading lately, it really doesn't matter how you get your miles in. As long as you do it. You can walk, run, sprint, jog... whatever. Just get them in and chances are you will lose the same amount of weight. And by constantly switching it up, you are making your body work harder, plus you aren't getting bored. So I think every time I get to run, I'm going to do something different. I'm trying to get it out of my head that stopping for a brief walk = failure.            

I'm in a serious need for a day off of working out today. I've worked out 7 days in a row now and I'm hurting a bit. But I won't be able to workout Friday or Saturday (since I'll be in Detroit, visiting my parents) so I need to squeeze one more workout in tonight.

So hubby is gone for 7 days **sigh**. Ahhhh, the life of a Pilot's wife. The first night he's gone is always the loneliest. Not sure why, I guess it's that I get so used to him being home and when you've got 7 long days looming ahead of you, it gets me down a bit. But I am determined to be upbeat and happy. And not spend the entire time yelling at my kids. I'm so going to "Carol Brady" myself this week! (along with several a glass of wine)

I'm finding it next to impossible to stay under 40 grams of carbs a day, which is what my trainer recommended for me. I mean I'm not even eating any bread or anything and I'm still going over. My protein shake alone, takes almost all my carbs up for the day. I just don't get how people do this. But I think if I'm just watching my intake of them, like I've been doing, even if I'm going over a bit, should help. Though I'm getting reeeeeeal sick of eating egg whites for lunch.

 Ok, NEED to get some work done here, since I guess that's why I'm actually at work.


Holy L.A.

A here.

My husband doesn't travel often so when he does it throws me ALL off. He is in L.A. for business and has been cooling out in Hollywood. To know my husband this is a TOTAL oxymoron. He shopped on Rodeo Drive and I cannot believe he didn’t burst into flames the minute his foot hit the sidewalk. Anywhoo - somewhere along the way he got me a present so if for nothing else I cannot wait for him to get home! Our 4yo son, B believes his dad is in Hollywood because he "sang so good" (we watched American Idol last night) and he’s convinced his dad is going to show up on the show. Too cute for words!

Lets start with a positive, I've lost 2 lbs! HOORAY! In part, I believe its due to me not drinking both nights last week. I have to chill back on the wine, it's how I got the weight off the first time and I know its how I'll get if off again. Well, that and Zumba.

The negative. I had Annie's Mac & Cheese with B last night mixed with home-made Chorizo. Because what goes better with Annie's than Chorizo - really? So totally unnecessary but OMG so good. I woke up slightly angry with myself and ate only 2 mandarin oranges this morning for breakfast to try and balance the filth. And yes, filth.

Another negative, E sent me a text - "hey baby, miss and love you, don’t forget to take out the trash". Not much sets me off these days but for some reason I wanted to kill him for this. Note to self, must address anger issues later - when there is time. Sure.

I will say, with him not traveling much this week, while uber tough has also made me realize just how much he does. Makes me miss him so much and alleviates SOME of the trash text anger...but not much.

Off an running to another day, Get Skinny my web friends!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

2 Pack Abs?

Dear Diary,
I've been very good at working-out this past week. Last night, even though my trainer canceled on me, I worked out anyway. I did an Comcast On-Demand (I sound like a damned Comcast commercial lately) cardio workout. My son J even joined me as I was kickboxing. It was hilarious watching my 3-year-old do the kicking and punching moves.

I also got my butt up at 6am and hopped on my spinning bike before work this morning. Holla! As I was showering before work, I looked at my body in the mirror. And even though when I weighed myself last week, I may have not lost any lbs on the scale, my body is changing. It's redistributing it's self. My stomach is what's probably most noticeable. I can actually see 2 of my (if I was thin) 6 pack abs. The 2 abdominal muscles right below my breasts are actually sticking out and defined (The remaining 4? Not sure where they are yet). As I was brushing my hair, I could see my shoulder and bicep muscles, were more toned. So it's happening and it feels good.

I read the most inspirational blog EVER this morning. A friend of mine sent me the link last night and the way this woman writes is amazing. She lost 135lbs. But just reading her story, her history, the way she puts it, was one of the most weight-loss inspiring things I've ever read. Check her out:


Luckily, I was able to reschedule my personal trainer for 8am tomorrow morning, before my husband leaves for his 7-day trip. So one final, great workout before the long stretch.

So I finally decided to be a "grown up" and switch up my book on tape selection from the teen romances to something else. I'm reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I was warned by A that the first bit is pretty boring. And, oh, it was. But now it's starting to get good. I'm glad I stuck with it. Since my commute to work is 45 minutes each way, I've grown to loooooooooove my time in the car, with my books on tape. I don't really have too much time to read physical books anymore, so getting to do it in the car is perfect for me.

I'm loving my protein shakes in the mornings lately. It really does fill me up. Even this morning, with working out first thing (which normally makes me ravenous) I'm still feeling ok. I usually pop a handful of almonds around 11am and that will take me to lunch. I've been eating egg whites with either spinach or lean ham (with a bit of cheese) every day lately for lunch. I need to switch it up or I'm going to get bored. But its yummy, protein filled and low in carbs, plus easy to make. Mid afternoon snack has been a cheese stick and sometimes a few turkey pepperoni’s. I know the pepperoni’s aren't exactly the healthiest of things, but low in calories and carbs and oh so yummy.

Dinner is always my trouble area. I'm trying to eat with my kids more and not just sitting there, watching them eat. I don't need S growing up with eating issues like mine. I need her to see me eating a healthy, well balanced meals. So I'm truly making an effort to not skip dinner (which I do WAY too often) and eat with her and J (and my husband when he's home).

Tomorrow starts my husband's 7-day trip. SHOOT ME! But I am going to have positive thoughts about it. I think I will drive over to Detroit on Friday and spend the day/night with my parents. The kids haven't seen them since Christmas, so it's time. It's hard on me, and I don't get much sleep (since we are all packed in one room at night) but they need to see their grandparents. Plus my sister and her kids will stop by on Friday, which is nice for the kids to play with their cousins.

Ok... I'm totally rambling.... I'll stop now.


Monday, January 23, 2012

NAMASTE, Damn it!

...so I heard my husband yelling at my son last night as I ran out the door for a combo yoga class followed by a "Healthy Cooking" class.  What a fantastic way to start the week!  Heading back to Zumba tonight and with my husband in LA and Chicago all week I need workouts in NOW. 
My biggest victory last week was a) I drank only Saturday night (but enough that it should have been Friday and Saturday...*sigh* b) My jeans were not skin tight.  WOOT!
ps - Hey V, I heart wine too :)

Random Monday Thoughts...

- I think my stomach is finally getting used to not eating crap all day. I'm still hungry a lot, but it's not the dull, aching hunger I usually have

- WTF was up with the freaking thunder storm we had in the middle of the night last night... in Michigan... in the middle of winter... with booming loud thunder.  ANNOYED! You are lucky you didn't wake my kids up Mr. Thunder!

 - I've made my husband the "bad guy" when it comes to the war with the pacifier and my son J. He's not supposed to have it outside of his bed, but I let him when the husband is gone. He knows this and when he hears the garage door open up, he will run and put it back in his bed... I know, I'm an a**hole.

- Cannot wait for The Bachelor tonight

- I heart wine

- Because of loving the wine, I have had to make a pact with myself that I'm not allowed to have a glass unless I've worked out that day. Wonder if that's why I've worked out 7 days in a row so far...

- S was moved up to the Big Girl Room (aka the Orange Room) at daycare today. I'm soooooooooooo scared she's going to get pushed around by the big kids

- I always feel like I can't wait to get out of the house and away from the kids for a bit. But when I finally leave, I kinda just want to go back home and play with them

- I would give my right kidney right now, if someone gave me just a little piece of chocolate

 - The next 7 days with my husband gone are going to suck. I am going to try and have more patience with my kids so I don't spend the next 7 days yelling at them.

- I hate that facebook is blocked at work. Though I can understand because I'd be on it all day if we did.

- Now that I've been talking about wine, I sorta want a glass right now

- If you read my last Random Thoughts post a few weeks ago, you would have seen my confession that the book on tape I was currently listening to was a teen book (didn't realize it when I got it). But I fell in love with the teen book so much, that I've now gotten a few others of the same author's books now. Man I love a good teen romance...


Debbie Downer

Well that was me last week. I was sort of spiraling down into a pit of feeling sorry for myself. But after a nice long weekend, full of workouts, I am back in good spirits today. Working out really can make you feel so much better about things. Thursday night I got home and was just grumpy and sad about my lack of weight loss. My sister-in-law called me and invited me to Zumba class that night at 8pm. So I went, and ever since then, I've felt better. It's amazing what endorphins can do for you.

Friday I was home all day with the kids by myself. But I still managed to squeeze a workout in. I love the On Demand workouts with Comcast. They have everything from 10 minute ones to 1 hour ones. So I am able to squeeze in a few 10 minute workouts here and there throughout the day. Actually I was so sore from the Chair one that had me doing a billion squats, that I could barely walk on Saturday.

I also had my 2nd personal training session on Saturday. She really kicked my butt this time. She had me running for a bit, but then switched the treadmill to a 13 incline, walking around 3.0 speed. That was hard, just doing that alone. Then she had me taking 5lb weights and doing my shoulder, biceps and triceps curls, all while still walking. Man I was shaking when we were done.

My legs were so tight yesterday from the workouts on Friday and Saturday, that I actually hopped on my spinning bike just to loosen my muscles up. I also jump roped for a bit.

Unfortunately my trainer had to cancel on me tonight, which sucks, because my husband is leaving on Wednesday for a 7-day trip (shoot me) and I won't get to see her til late next week. Boo!

I've also realized that I've only really been hitting it hard for about 2.5 weeks, so I think I need to just lay off the scale a bit. Because as long as I'm working out and eating healthy, who gives a sh*t what I weigh? Especially if it can put me in such a funk, like I was last week. So I say F-YOU scale!  =)

We had fun at my friend's house on Saturday (the one with the mansion). It was nice to get all our families together. They had super greasy food there, but I didn't eat it (yay me!). When S wandered off in their house, I ran to go grab her and saw that they had the most awesome gym in their basement. I mean it literally looks like a gym you are a member of. Mirrored walls, padded floors, every piece of equipment you could ever want. So jealous.

It's going to be a long stretch here with my husband gone for 7 days. Hopefully I can keep my sanity and get some workouts in while he's gone. It shouldn't be too hard to squeeze in those 10 minute On Demand workouts here and there.

Here's to a MUCH better week for me!


Thursday, January 19, 2012


Well it turned out that I didn't really have to worry about the temptation of those tortilla chips on Tuesday night. You see our heat decided to stop working. Do you know how cold it is in Michigan right now? FREEEEEEEEEEEZING. Of course my husband was gone (of course, of course, of course) so here I am in a freezing house with a 1-year-old and 3-year-old wondering what the F to do. We have one space heater, so I got that going. And since we have a gas stove, I was able to turn on all 4 burners and that put off a ton of heat. Anyway, after putting the kids to bed in two pairs of pajamas and a lot of blankets, I proceeded to keep switching out the space heater from each of their rooms, so it wasn't too cold. I didn't want to fall asleep with the space heater on, afraid it would catch fire, so I pretty much was up until around 1am.

THEN (there's always a then) around 4am, the heat randomly kicks back on. But since I had been playing with the thermostat earlier, it was turned on 80 degrees. So I wake up at 4am about ready to suffocate from the heat.  So I get up, turn the thermostat down, then I had to sneak in the kids room and take their blankets off (since they still had the 2 pair's of pajamas on). Yeah... it was a pretty fun night. But no time to even think about food, so there's the positive I guess.

We had someone come out and look at the furnace yesterday and it's all fixed now, luckily. But why does this stuff always seem to happen when my husband is gone?

I'm still a big discouraged today. I weighed myself this morning and I'm the SAME WEIGHT as I was last week. WTF? I mean I know I had that one slip-up with the tortilla chips, but I've been working so hard, it was just very disappointing to see that number be the same on the scale. Makes me want to just say F-it. But I won't... I'll keep going, grudgingly.

I'm excited to meet up with my trainer on Saturday. I need a good workout. I haven't really been able to all week with my husband gone. So hopefully a good workout will help my spirits, it usually does.

Nothing too exciting on the schedule for this upcoming weekend. We've got plans on Saturday with a new friend that me and my friend J have been hanging out with lately. We met her through a Moms Group we are members of. She just moved here not too long ago with her husband and 2 boys. We've hung out with her a few times, but never had been to her house. Well about 2 weeks ago she had my friend and I over with the kids for a play date. HOLY SH*T! Her house is a freaking mansion. No joke. Yeah... guess her husband is a surgeon.

Anyway, she's invited us over (the husbands too) for a hang out, let the kids play, guys watching the game sort of evening. Should be fun. Maybe they will bust out some fabulous wine from the massive wine cellar they have in their basement.

Have a great weekend!


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Feeling Good

Hello - A here.  Feeling pretty good, have been eating well and have been still CRAZY sore from Zumba.  My husband bought me a Living Social for 5 classes that start next week, I'm so excited for it to get going!  I need to get on a consistent basis of doing both exercise and eating well, has just never been my habit to do so - mind shift, but I'm getting there!


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Rounding Out the Day...

...with a positive.

My boss put an entire cake RIGHT outside of my cube today (thanks for that). I didn't have one single crumb of it. So take THAT you stupid cake!



Bad Feeling

Well yesterday's post titled was 'Good Feeling'... my how 24 hours can change it all. I f-ed up last night. GOD, why do I do this to myself? I was feeling soooooooooooooooooo good yesterday. My pants were so big on me, I literally had to pull them up as I was walking up stairs. But last night, after the kids went to bed, I was cleaning up the kitchen and I noticed a bag of tortilla chips. My husband must have bought them. I mean, besides pizza, tortilla chips with cheese is like my favorite thing in the world. And damned if I didn't throw some on a plate and melt some cheese on them and eat it up like I hadn't eaten in a year.

As soon as I finished it, I was immediately disappointed. Worst... feeling... ever. So now I'm feeling bad about myself today. I'm just disappointed that after achieving so much the past few weeks, I go and mess it up and fall back into my same old bad habits. And that damned bag of tortilla chips is STILL sitting in my kitchen! I didn't polish off the bag, though in a way I wish I had just so it wouldn't be there still. But I am going to be strong tonight and not go NEAR that bag.

And what bothers me most, is that my husband obviously bought the bag, is currently eating it and he's lost 10lbs! WTF? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ok, on to bigger and better things.


Monday, January 16, 2012

Good Feeling

So I put my work pants on this morning and they are really starting to get big on me. They are totally loose around my tummy. That's always a GREAT way to start off the day and week. FINALLY things are starting to come together for me. I almost wish I had weighed myself, just to see. But by that point I already had my morning coffee. I am one of "those" weighers, that weighs myself the first second after I get up in the morning after my morning pee (sorry TMI). But anyway, I'm happy about it.

I had a fabulous weekend. Not only in eating and working out but also just in fun in general. My husband was home all weekend, which made it really fun. We got snow all three days, (Fri/Sat/Sun) so I shoveled the driveway all three days. I definitely worked up a sweat doing that. After that, I pulled my son around on his sled. He's 40lbs, and I wrapped the rope from his sled around my waste and ran circles around my house, pulling him. We've got a hill on each side of the house, not a huge hill, but big enough that we sled down it, and pulling him up that hill, while running was HARD. I was literally covered in sweat when I was done. I tried to do that each day we were out there. Not only a great workout for me, but J loved it. He kept yelling "faster mommy! faster!" the whole time.

Eating wise I also did great. I've been doing the protein shakes for breakfast lately, and they aren't too bad. I wouldn't say they filled me up, but nothing healthy ever seems to anyway.

I finally went to see Breaking Dawn last night (yes, I'm a Twilight nerd). It was awesome. I met my sister in Lansing at the theater. Lansing is the halfway point between where she lives in Detroit and I live in Grand Rapids. Afterwards we went to have a bite to eat. We ended up splitting 2 chicken breasts entree. I was proud of myself for not eating bad. Restaurant eating is really hard for me. I ALWAYS want to get something bad. Lucky for me, my sister is super healthy and so that made it easier for me to choose healthy too. The 2 glasses of wine I had... probably not as healthy.

My husband has already lost 10lbs. F*cker. How someone who is already thin and in shape can lose 10lbs since Christmas is beyond me. Hopefully I'm at the 10lb mark myself. I think I'll weigh myself on Wednesday just to see where I'm at.

My husband left this morning for a trip and won't be back until Thursday night and then flies all day Friday on a day trip. So I'm on my own this week. Workouts will be sparse, but hopefully I can squeeze a bit in here and there. My trainer comes on Saturday again, so I know I'll get a great workout in then. So I will have to make sure I'm really careful with my eating this week, since I won't get a super long workout in. But even just getting 15 minutes in here and there is better than nothing.

Ok, back to work. I'm up to my eyeballs in freelance work this week, along with my regular work I do at my job.


Saturday, January 14, 2012


I heart Zumba!  I finally dragged my butt to the actual gym today to use that 2-wk pass my girlfriend gave me and decided to check out the Zumba crazinessness everyone is raving about.
I totally get it now!  I heart Zumba!
I have not had that much fun working out in I cant tell you HOW LONG and my body, while already hurting a little, is thanking me in so many ways. 
Onward and upward!  YEAHHHHHHHHHH

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Um... Yeah...

...that whole phrase I wrote earlier about how I would like to be pushed harder at my next personal training session? I might take that back.

I.... AM..... SO... SORE!

Holy sh*t!

K... goodnight


She's Pretty Fast for a Fatty

So my first official session with my personal trainer went well. She had me do a bit of everything. We briskly walked around my neighborhood, then she had me jog for a bit. Then she had me do lunges up my street. And finally I had to sprint as fast as I could go, back to my house (about a half of block). It's been a long time since I sprinted as fast as I could go. She said she was surprised at how fast I could go, which made me feel good. Unless she was thinking "I'm surprised at how fast she is for as fat as she is" in her head. Anyway, after that we lifted weights while doing squats and PliƩs. Then we headed indoors and did some pilate leg work followed by a lot of ab work.

So all in all, good overall workout. I think she was probably hitting everything just to see where I was at physically. I'm hoping the future workouts are a bit harder. I like to be push hard, very hard. So I'm assuming it will continue to get harder as we go.

I've lost 2 more pounds since she weighed me a week ago. So that's good. I'm down 7lbs total now.

My back is a bit sore today from all the ab work. It had been feeling so much better that I'm a bit bummed to be in pain again. It's such a catch 22. My back hurts because my core is so weak. But when I do core exercises to strengthen it, it makes my back hurt. I can't win.

So I took some of the pain pills the doctor gave me for my back last night. And now I'm totally groggy and can still feel it in my system, which I hate. But I wanted to make sure it didn't hurt me while I slept. Not that it mattered anyway, because my husband was coughing all night which kept me up.

I had to move cubes at work today. Which blows because now I'm right outside my boss's office. Which makes it harder to dick around and blog... ha ha. I have to be sneaky now. My old cube had sooooo much more privacy. Oh well, I'm only here 3 days a week anyway.

Ok, back to work, I've got a lot to get done today since I went home early on Tuesday because I didn't feel all that well.

Have a great weekend!


Brick Wall

Well hello - A here, finally.  Not only were the holidays not nice to my body (thankyouverymuch) they were not nice to me for the past 10 days catching up at work!  It has been 8 to 8 almost every day and there has been little to no room for anything else.  As a result, not much has changed for me  until Tuesday of this week - I finally hit my breaking point, my brick wall.  A girlfriend gave me a 2-week gym member pass for classes and I really took a look at myself in the mirror and thought WTH have I been thinking. 
This binge lasted a little longer than normal and did a little more damage than usual.  Between my mom getting sick and losing the baby I think I buried both so deep that my only outlet was to eat and not pay attention to anything - because if I did it meant that I also had to pay attention to that which was hurting the most.  And that sucks.  And so here I am.
My eating has been great so far, I have finally cut back on the calories and have been out walking.  I am back to being consious of everything, especially my skin tight jeans.  Awesomeness.
I head to Mexico in a few weeks for 5 days with my husband on a trip I won through work, 8 pounds to go.  I know its not realistic to think that I can lose that by the 8th of Feb but I can work really hard at it and at least not feel so down about myself.
Back on track, no other choice - I dont want to be fat anymore or ever again. Done.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I Gotta Say...

... since I stopped doing the sit-ups for that 200-Sit-Up Challenge, my back is feeling a MILLION times better. Sure glad I had to go to the doctor and pay all this money to figure that out. Like, DUH, in the 6 weeks that I started doing them, my back went to sh*t. Why couldn't I figure this out on my own? Oh well, at least I got some good drugs out of it... KIDDING! (sorta)

I got my butt up this morning and went on my spinning bike before work. Now I'm sitting here at work eating a bowl of egg beaters mixed with spinach and low fat feta... yum!

I don't have too much else to say today. Probably because I rambled on and on during yesterday's post. My trainer comes tomorrow for my first official session. I'm excited but a bit nervous. I am just curious as to what she is going to have me do. Hopefully I can keep up.


Monday, January 9, 2012

Carbs... you suck!

So my personal trainer came over on Friday and she is AWESOME! Loved her. Basically we just talked about me and my lifestyle. I let it all out too. Told her about my crazy eating habits, and how I lose the weight, than gain it, then lose it... etc. She said that not only would she put me on a great workout program but also an eating one too if I wanted it. Um... I was like hell YEAH I want to be put on an eating program.

So she's got me not only continuing to count calories like I've been doing, but also, no more than 40 grams of carbs a day. At least until we get a good bulk of weight off. It didn't sound that hard in theory, but man it is hard only having 40 grams of carbs. It adds up quick. I mean I've done the low carb thing before, but never at the same time as counting calories. I've usually done one or the other, but both at once is going to be challenging.

She was very excited that I wanted to do a sprint triathlon. She thinks that will be our overall goal, to train for the sprint triathlon. This way we accomplish our 2 main goals of losing weight and getting into shape. Plus it makes me feel better to have someone train with me for this, like I have some direction now. She's even going to help me in the pool with my swimming, which is definitely my biggest challenge on this. I've always been a biker and runner, but never a swimmer.

She took my measurements. I'm not really sure what are good and bad measurements, so it wasn't too bad. She DID weigh me though. It was so embarrassing to do in front of someone else. I mean my husband doesn't even know how much I weigh. But the positive is, I'm down 7lbs from late November when I last weighed myself. How I lost weight over the holidays is beyond me, but I was happy with it. I have a loooooooooooooooong way to go though. I need to lose 12 more pounds by Feb 20th. But with cutting some carbs out, I don't think that will be too much of an issue. As always, I'm great at losing weight, it's just keeping that weight off that is my problem.  Even after I lose the 12lbs by Feb 20th, I still need to lose about 15lbs more to be back where I was before kids. But, baby steps, I'm just going to worry about the Feb 20th deadline right now.

I felt so good after the trainer left on Friday that I went out for a run. It was 50 degrees here! That is crazy for Michigan in January. I actually had to take my windbreaker off and finished my run in a t-shirt. I ran 3 miles, which is pretty good. It was hard run for me though. Some days I feel like I can run forever, and some days, like Friday, it's HARD. But I did it and that's that.

Another issue I've been having lately that I haven't mentioned, is my lower back problem. I've always been a stomach sleeper. And after being pregnant and nursing my son J, I went back to sleeping on my stomach no problem. Then I got pregnant with S and when I was done nursing her last September, I tried to go back to sleeping on my stomach and for some reason it would hurt my lower back when I did it. So I just didn't do it, no big deal. But about a month ago, I noticed that now when I laid flat on my back when sleeping, my lower back would start to hurt. Then it started hurting even when I was sleeping on my side. Then I started noticing at the end of the day my back would start to ache. So on Friday, after my run, my back hurt soooooooooo bad. So I called my doc up to make an appointment and they said I could come in right then if I wanted to. So I dropped the kids off at my sister-in-law's and went.

Well they did x-rays and everything on my back and nothing showed up. He said that was good, no slipped disc or anything. He thinks the problem is deep in my back, within the muscles. He thinks something got "off" during my last pregnancy, alignment-wise. He also thinks that all the sit-ups I've been doing for the past 6 weeks have exasperated the situation. My core is weak (hence the reason why I'm doing the damned sit-ups to begin with) and so I'm "straining my back while doing them, to compensate for my weak abs" (super, thanks for that doc). So he wants me to stop my 200 Sit Up Challenge... which totally blows. But I need to strengthen my core more slowly. He gave me some back exercises to do, and I will let my trainer know this and she can work with me on this too. So hopefully my back pain will come to an end soon. Because let me tell you, it sucks!

The doctor also gave me some muscle relaxers to take before bed, to relieve some of the tension on my back muscles. WOW, these suckers are strong. I hate them. Them make me groggy for the entire next day. UGH! So unless I am in ALOT of pain I am not taking these. I didn't even get up to workout before work this morning because I was so groggy. And that is not good. I'm very disappointed in myself for not doing this (though I have been sleeping a lot better and my back hasn't been hurting).

We did go for a nice hike on Saturday, kids and all. The Appalachian Trail goes through the city I live in, so we put S in the backpack hiker (on my husband) and we all set out for the woods. It was fun and a great workout. It can get quite hilly... plus I had to help J up a lot of the hills, so carrying a 3-year-old up a big ass hill is hard.

Ok, sorry this was a long and rambling post, but so much has been going on. Happy Monday!


Thursday, January 5, 2012


So the personal trainer just called and left me a message, confirming our appointment for tomorrow. She said that she would probably take some "measurements and my weight"  Shoot me!

She also said she might do a brief fitness test to see "where I'm at." 

**sigh** This is going to be depressing....


Glutton For Punishment?

Well we booked our tickets for Florida. We will be traveling with a 3-year-old and an 18-month-old... and we might be insane. My husband's parents live in Florida in the winter. They live in this retirement community in Sarasota called the Sun N Fun (http://www.sunnfunfl.com/). It's actually pretty cool, considering it's all retirees. They've got a awesome kiddie pool, regular pool, fitness classes, mini golf, shuffle board, etc. I mean I wouldn't have wanted to go there when I was single, but now that I have kids? Sure, it's great.

They live in a 5th Wheel Camper, so that's where it can get tough. Now, this camper is like awesome! It's got a master bedroom, island in the kitchen, HUGE flat screen tv, 2 lazy boy chairs, couch, etc. It looks sort of like these (I got these off the web, so I have no idea who this girl is in the photo):

I mean if you are going to get a camper, this is the one to get. That being said, having us ALL in there together can get kind of tight.

We've gone to Florida twice before with J. Once when he was 6-months-old and once when he was 18-months-old. It was really fun and J loved it. But 2 kids? That's a whole different ball game. First off: the airplane. At 6-months, it was a breeze. 6-month-olds don't do anything anyway, they just sit there. At 18-months-old? HOLY SH*T, all they want to do is run, and they don't understand why they can't run... so they scream. I literally starting crying on the airplane ride home from Florida that year. J was FREAKING out. It was horrible.

So why am I doing this again with an 18-month-old? Well the promise of lots of alcohol when I get there, and the few Xanax I have stashed in my underwear drawer on loan from a friend. At least I know what I'm getting into this time. Last time I thought it was going to be as easy as when J was 6-months old. Now I know... Plus, I think I am going to make my husband take care of S and J and I will sit a few rows back... he he

So anyway, we are going February 10th-14th. The downside to this timing, is my 19lb weight loss contest ends on Feb 19th, so that will be crunch time for me and that is going to be hard on vacation. Plus I doubt there will be a lot of workout time either... oh well.

On a good note, I was given 6 sessions with a personal trainer for Christmas. She comes this Friday for a consultation and to see where I'm at, what I want to accomplish and how we should go about it. I'm super excited. Looks like my husband will be home too, so I can actually talk to her without 2 kids hanging on me.

Eating has been back on track this week so far. I got up again and worked out before work this morning and did my sit-ups. SO happy to be back on track.


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Would You Like Some Breast Milk With Your Coffee?

As always, I was running late this morning for work. I've been bringing in my own skim milk for my coffee here at work, so I won't be using the super fattening creamer they have. Anyway, in my mad rush to get out of the house I grabbed the first thing handy to pour my milk in, S's baby bottle. So I put the baby bottle in the fridge at work and when I went to pour my coffee and add my skim milk, I pulled out my bottle. Just then a group of people walked in and saw me doing this and looked at me like I was crazy. After they left I realized they probably thought I was putting my breast milk or something in my coffee... how embarrassing. While I'm huge breastfeeding advocate, I most certainly wouldn't drink it myself, especially in my coffee.... So LOVELY way to start the day.

Anyway, I started my day out right, by getting my tired a** up at 6am and working out before work. I had to take a few days off working out this past weekend because I was SO sore. Like could barely walk sore.

You see, after I had J (my 3-year-old) I was still working full time. I had a gym at my work so I worked out every day on my lunch hour. It rocked! At the time I had read an article on doing intervals on the treadmill, which is basically sprinting for 30 seconds then doing a slow jog for 30-60 seconds. You just do that over and over and over. Not only do you burn WAY more calorie's but it's a kick-a** workout. It's 10 times harder than just running the same old boring speed for 30 minutes. Your heart rate is constantly going up and down. I read that you can burn 3 times as much fat doing this, than just running at the same speed the entire time. Plus you never get bored, because you are switching it up every 30 seconds. All you have to think about is just getting through the next 30 seconds. So anyway, I used to do that all the time and I was in AWESOME shape. I had lost all the baby weight and I had a nice figure going (somewhat). But then I got laid off from that job, and the intervals stopped and the weight crept back on, I got pregnant again and here we are today.

So this past weekend I decided to start doing interval training again. I've never actually done it outside before, and to be honest I felt kinda dumb, sprinting and then jogging over and over. But whatever... plus I had to count the 30 seconds in my head since I didn't have a timer like on a treadmill. But it was such a great workout. I literally felt like I wanted to puke afterwards. That's how hard it was. I still did my 3 miles. But the next day? HOLY CRAP, I could barely move. EVERYTHING was sore on me. My back, my butt, my hips and my legs. So, good workout? Most definitely. Something I need to work up to a bit more? Most definitely.

But I hopped back on my spinning bike this morning and did my sit-ups. So go me!

As much as I love the holidays, I'm just so happy to get back to normal life. While my workouts have been great, my eating has been bad... very, very bad. So, today we are back on track, back to calorie count, back to everything.

Happy New Year! Here's to getting back on track!

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