Thursday, October 6, 2011

Well Hello Food, I Wish I Could Say I've Missed You...

I'm "A" and I'm officially unhealthy and flabby.  It sucks to say it out loud, but its true.

My entire existence has been one long struggle with food.  I've weighed everything from 118 (adult lowest) - 187 (day I gave birth).  My approach to 9 out of 10 things is EXTREME black and white, do A - you will invariably get B.  X will ALWAYS = Y in my book.  It keeps me in control and I am in control of everything (or so I like to think).  Simple.  Eat the m&m's my son was given, BAM weight to the hips.  Drink the extra glass of wine, KAZAMM extra cellulite for my thighs.  Thanks.  And yet here I am again, addressing the same issues I've fought throughout life.  But today it stops.

So here is what you need to know about me going forward.  The heaviest I’ve ever been was also the happiest day of my life – the day I gave birth to my son.  I used my pregnancy as the ultimate foodie experience.  I said no to NOTHING.  Ice Cream in the middle of the night?  Yep.  Donuts in the microwave covered in butter?  Sure did.  3 pieces of work birthday cake – you betcha, add it to my accomplished list.  When I came home from the hospital something clicked inside of me, I made the decision to NEVER again be large.  I went from a size 14-16 to a size 4 in 2 years.   For the first time in my life I did it the right way, I watched my calories – ate right – stopped wine – even worked out and I felt AMAZING. 

Yet here I am again.  I will refer to this stage as the “lifestyle creep”.  Because I have kept the weight off for a solid 3 years I have started to get comfortable and being totally honest, a little cocky.  I am back to drinking wine every weekend, never counting calories and because I walk our dog daily (well, most days) I think I can say yes to things I have for so long been able to keep at bay.  Lifestyle creep back in full effect. 

My wake-up call came Monday when my bestie V, who I rely on for everything, told me she was leaving me to correct her weight issues – on. her. own.  Understand, up until this point, we’ve struggled with weight – together. We’ve done food contests, workout contests and 1-bazillion diets together.  We’ve struggled with everything together and immediately my only child sense of abandonment kicked into full gear. I finally admitted to myself what was really going on and realized it was time to get BACK in control of my life before it spiraled too far down.

And here we are.  We’re now bloggers.  And I think, for the first time, in a very long time, we’re on a very healthy and good path for success.  Admittedly and selfishly much to my enjoyment – we’re doing it together. 

I’m 5’1.5” and my goal weight is 118.  I have struggled over the past 8 months with the same 10 lbs and I am determined to get them off. 

Here we go, wish us luck.

1 comment:

  1. btw, I did not abandoned you, I simply stated that I had to lose weight for me, not you. =)



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